For Sheila, sentiments from Julie, her daughter.
This is the story of a woman – sensitive, generous, loyal, humble, helpful and kind
Yet creative, vivacious, artistic, hilarious, eccentric, with an incredible business mind
Yet bold, courageous, tough as nails, leaving her troubles behind
She could lift beer cases and a pool table by herself, even with that 5-foot-2 frame
Sheila Hickin then later Sheila Meek, what a “pistol” – “Killer” was the nickname
And though she is my “Mama” – not sure why – I called her “Sheila” just the same
Yes, over the years, from birth to the beyond, how much we all have grown
Your guiding light – so much presence, perseverance and power you have shown
The strongest, smartest, most beautiful person I have known
Born in the United Kingdom, Liverpool, June 29, 1941
Father Hugh, Mother Rose, and sister Margot was the bossy one
Lived through World War II bombs; the sugar factory fire colors she thought were neat
On family vacations on her father’s motorbike, she would sit in the sidecar seat
Though brilliant, no college for her, she had dyslexia, but she didn’t know
Her parents paid tuition for sister, but not for her … upset, she had to go
In ‘59, she took a boat to the States, Ellis island, only 18 years old
A Hollywood apartment, a great secretary, the fastest typist, as the story goes
After a year, her parents wanted to check up on her, they decided to send Margot
Instead her sister moved in with her, her parents would soon follow
Along with Margot’s husband Hans, car salesman, they trekked down on a San Diego trip
Even Sheila’s father became service manager at the Mission Bay Volkswagen dealership
Career-minded Sheila worked as seasonal waitress at the Mammoth Mountain Inn
The bartender there was Tommy – from Watertown, South Dakota – that’s where he’d been
Moving to San Diego to be with Sheila, Tommy would find her on his search
Soon married … October 2, 1965 … La Jolla Lutheran church
Matching Tommy’s brother’s dream, in ’72 he and Sheila bought Stingers, the bar
1038 Garnet Avenue, a Pacific Beach staple, the ocean was not too far
Sheila gave it her heart and soul, naming it, creating a logo, doing all that she was able
I came along the same year – she’d clean the bar with me in a beer box on the pool table
Living in Clairemont on Mark Terrace, her parents only four houses away
In ’77 she took me to our new home; saying, “I bought you a house for your birthday”
In ‘80 they sold Stingers because it was attracting bikers, they moved inland 8 blocks
1833 Garnet Avenue, a Pacific Beach legendary landmark – this was the Silver Fox
After 11 years of marriage, it was time to move on – tired of the fights and the force
They had love, but didn’t get along – when told, I asked “Are we getting divorced?”
Later In ‘94 I moved to Arizona for college – upset at Sheila for this and that
She fell through on a promise, plus I told her “I want to get away from your crazy ass”
After success with my Pet Nutrition Centre business there, I had already come so far
Sheila viewed my financial books and said, “I need you to return and take care of the bar”
Dogs and cats were my life, absolutely not, my decision was set in stone
Sheila let me know she’d have to sell the bar; I said, “Mama I’m coming home”
Moving back in 2001, I took over the Silver Fox, it was starting to fall apart
Marrying Harun in 2004, having first son Noah – here was my brand new start
Though, no one knows what life has in store, especially once someone starts aging
Sheila only wanted to be Noah’s and Wolfie’s grandmother, and yet slowly something started changing
By 2008 she was having difficulty with everyday tasks, definitely something was up
Taking care of Noah, feeding him dog biscuits and Coca-Cola from a sippy cup
From then on it was a long struggle, she fought and fought, her spirt – as always – mighty
Surviving sickness, eight years in a nursing home, sleeping for 14 days – she would not go quietly
Though in hospice for 28 months, her long stretches of sleep triggered the alarms
And then she’d wake up one day singing a bunch of her childhood songs
The strongest, smartest, most beautiful person I have known
With Sheila and her memories in my life, I know I can never be alone
These past recollections recall each seed that you have sewn
The memory in the new house, when she woke me, asking if I wanted a bigger room
I didn’t know she’d take a hatchet to the closet’s drywall and create such a mess – boom!
She forgot about the electrical outlets; the new look wasn’t too appealing
Thank goodness Merle Johnson came to fix it so I didn’t have live wire hanging from the ceiling
One time, I got lost at a market, panicked, I kept calling out “Mama, Mama, Mama”
But then I remembered, and she responded … screaming “Sheila” ended the drama
Always creating the perfect job – hairdresser, florist, caretaker – whatever would suit her
Once mad that I couldn’t figure percentages at a store, she made me get a math tutor
At 17, without telling her, I crowd-surfed at a Social Distortion concert in Tijuana
When she found the old receipts, it was the end of car privileges and the end of Club Iguanas
She once got sued at the bar – a man lost a front tooth in a barroom fistfight
At first taking it personal, she later got him a drink and a T-shirt, just to make it right
One candidate kept hounding for a job; though there was none, Sheila said, “OK, you are hired”
Another down-and-out employee was covered by the family insurance, even after she retired
At Stingers, a sweaty drunk gangster biker ended up urinating on the floor
Though his name was “Tiny,” she threw his obese body into the parking lot, directly out of the door
In full gratitude, she’d yell “I LOVE YOU SAN DIEGO!” when she’d see a view of Mission Bay
The memories of the past keep popping in, so happy they are here to stay
Pot roast with Yorkshire pudding, pork chops, scampi, corned beef and cabbage, sausage and rice
A fisherman friend would trade booze for live lobsters and abalone – he was so nice
Lime House, BBQ Pit, JR’s Restaurant, China Inn, Bully’s West, dinners with Omi and Giggy
Grand Canyon, Jamaica, Barbados, Holy Communion at the Vatican, an art tour in Italy
Pets: Gunner Dobermann dog, Fonzerelli cat, Angel dog – Oh and Oliver a trained duck too
Patches, Gummy, Romeo, Cody and Eddie … and Coco who lived to be 22
Sheila loved training her dogs, skiing and listening to her music, that’s right
Linda Ronstadt’s “When Will I be Loved?” Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May,” “Tonight’s the Night”
“Muskrat Love” by Captain and Tennille, Carol King’s famous album Tapestry
Pretty much all of Hellen Reddy’s catalogue like “Ain’t No Way to Treat a Lady”
And also “You and Me Against the World,” “I am Woman” and “Delta Dawn”
Even when sickness stole her words and speech, she still sang all of her favorite songs
So in closing, I must offer gratitude for all that you taught and brought
Yes, you’ll be happy to know: the Silver Fox … Harun and I have bought
You taught me strength, to not give up, and to follow all of my dreams
And to stand for myself, explore life, to go for it, no matter how crazy it seems
Thank you for putting up with me when I was a brat about the whole college “trauma”
You will forever be in my heart and soul, my one and only Sheila Mama
Through your lessons, your insight, your example – I have grown
Though now like an angel, and a dove, upon wings – you have flown
The strongest, smartest, most beautiful person I have ever known