by jimellis | Feb 14, 2024 | Uncategorized |
Sentiments For Lenie From Art
Being in a relationship with you Lenie has taught me something new
It’s not about making me happy, but rather how I can serve you
Discovering what it means to truly love someone, in trust and in respect
Not about what I could want, demand, desire or expect
In this relationship I have experienced a profound shift, in heart and mind
I bring happiness, joy, comfort, appreciation – you reciprocate in kind
We come from a place to give, devote and love – each day and night
You are someone who is adding to . . . and not taking from . . . my life
We are deeply committed, respectful, and truthful – two faithful lovers
Learning to embrace, communicate and celebrate the trust we share with each other
A new way, a new path, a new me – now never alone
You bring out my best – you bring me home
Even from the beginning we have been aligned – in almost spooky ways
The same movies, interests, beliefs, values, morals – it does amaze
Fitting together so well, in acceptance without criticism, argument, or fight
Emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically – it’s all so right
Memories I’ve collected so far – it’s a pleasure to observe you and me
A fateful meeting on Tinder, January 8, 2023
Your brief yet eloquent profile had no picture – will she be a fit for my life?
The first thought when I saw your photo: “Could this lady someday be my wife?”
After daily conversations on WhatsApp, in person I would want to meet
A visit in March – a smiling woman in brown dress, sunglasses and hat came to greet
Traveling a 50-mile radius, learning about each other, as time went by
Monte Maria, Hiking Mt. Banoi, coffee on the way back from Tagaytay
Manilla, Batangas City, Ilijan, Pangasinan – all we could ever want
Luboc lighthouse, City Garden Hotel Makati, a first date Encima Restaurant
A second visit, this time with family – 2 weeks in September
La Union, 100 Islands, Luna, Santo Nino, San Juan – I will always remember
Cocos, a trip to North Luzon, family dinners at the “Cabana” – so cool
Swimming together in the ocean, taking pictures in the pool
By our last dinner at the Vietnamese place – so much I will have been shown
On both of my visits, in our time together – you brought me home
Yet the real haven you brought me was one I did not truly think of
Becoming closer in my relationship to Jesus, scripture and all of God’s love
After a recent birthday, I felt a deeper longing and sent out a sincere prayer
Asking God to please show me a path, to be closer to His divine care
You came along – never judging, criticizing or condemning me about my choice
You simply shared your beliefs and experiences until I heeded the higher voice
In videos, pictures, homilies, pastors and preachers in each and every mass
I was gently guided into a deeper relationship and onto a religious path
It was God’s way of making me aware of what He has always known
It is you; you are the answer to a prayer . . . you bring me home
by jimellis | Mar 5, 2023 | Uncategorized |
For Sheila, sentiments from Julie, her daughter.
This is the story of a woman – sensitive, generous, loyal, humble, helpful and kind
Yet creative, vivacious, artistic, hilarious, eccentric, with an incredible business mind
Yet bold, courageous, tough as nails, leaving her troubles behind
She could lift beer cases and a pool table by herself, even with that 5-foot-2 frame
Sheila Hickin then later Sheila Meek, what a “pistol” – “Killer” was the nickname
And though she is my “Mama” – not sure why – I called her “Sheila” just the same
Yes, over the years, from birth to the beyond, how much we all have grown
Your guiding light – so much presence, perseverance and power you have shown
The strongest, smartest, most beautiful person I have known
Born in the United Kingdom, Liverpool, June 29, 1941
Father Hugh, Mother Rose, and sister Margot was the bossy one
Lived through World War II bombs; the sugar factory fire colors she thought were neat
On family vacations on her father’s motorbike, she would sit in the sidecar seat
Though brilliant, no college for her, she had dyslexia, but she didn’t know
Her parents paid tuition for sister, but not for her … upset, she had to go
In ‘59, she took a boat to the States, Ellis island, only 18 years old
A Hollywood apartment, a great secretary, the fastest typist, as the story goes
After a year, her parents wanted to check up on her, they decided to send Margot
Instead her sister moved in with her, her parents would soon follow
Along with Margot’s husband Hans, car salesman, they trekked down on a San Diego trip
Even Sheila’s father became service manager at the Mission Bay Volkswagen dealership
Career-minded Sheila worked as seasonal waitress at the Mammoth Mountain Inn
The bartender there was Tommy – from Watertown, South Dakota – that’s where he’d been
Moving to San Diego to be with Sheila, Tommy would find her on his search
Soon married … October 2, 1965 … La Jolla Lutheran church
Matching Tommy’s brother’s dream, in ’72 he and Sheila bought Stingers, the bar
1038 Garnet Avenue, a Pacific Beach staple, the ocean was not too far
Sheila gave it her heart and soul, naming it, creating a logo, doing all that she was able
I came along the same year – she’d clean the bar with me in a beer box on the pool table
Living in Clairemont on Mark Terrace, her parents only four houses away
In ’77 she took me to our new home; saying, “I bought you a house for your birthday”
In ‘80 they sold Stingers because it was attracting bikers, they moved inland 8 blocks
1833 Garnet Avenue, a Pacific Beach legendary landmark – this was the Silver Fox
After 11 years of marriage, it was time to move on – tired of the fights and the force
They had love, but didn’t get along – when told, I asked “Are we getting divorced?”
Later In ‘94 I moved to Arizona for college – upset at Sheila for this and that
She fell through on a promise, plus I told her “I want to get away from your crazy ass”
After success with my Pet Nutrition Centre business there, I had already come so far
Sheila viewed my financial books and said, “I need you to return and take care of the bar”
Dogs and cats were my life, absolutely not, my decision was set in stone
Sheila let me know she’d have to sell the bar; I said, “Mama I’m coming home”
Moving back in 2001, I took over the Silver Fox, it was starting to fall apart
Marrying Harun in 2004, having first son Noah – here was my brand new start
Though, no one knows what life has in store, especially once someone starts aging
Sheila only wanted to be Noah’s and Wolfie’s grandmother, and yet slowly something started changing
By 2008 she was having difficulty with everyday tasks, definitely something was up
Taking care of Noah, feeding him dog biscuits and Coca-Cola from a sippy cup
From then on it was a long struggle, she fought and fought, her spirt – as always – mighty
Surviving sickness, eight years in a nursing home, sleeping for 14 days – she would not go quietly
Though in hospice for 28 months, her long stretches of sleep triggered the alarms
And then she’d wake up one day singing a bunch of her childhood songs
The strongest, smartest, most beautiful person I have known
With Sheila and her memories in my life, I know I can never be alone
These past recollections recall each seed that you have sewn
The memory in the new house, when she woke me, asking if I wanted a bigger room
I didn’t know she’d take a hatchet to the closet’s drywall and create such a mess – boom!
She forgot about the electrical outlets; the new look wasn’t too appealing
Thank goodness Merle Johnson came to fix it so I didn’t have live wire hanging from the ceiling
One time, I got lost at a market, panicked, I kept calling out “Mama, Mama, Mama”
But then I remembered, and she responded … screaming “Sheila” ended the drama
Always creating the perfect job – hairdresser, florist, caretaker – whatever would suit her
Once mad that I couldn’t figure percentages at a store, she made me get a math tutor
At 17, without telling her, I crowd-surfed at a Social Distortion concert in Tijuana
When she found the old receipts, it was the end of car privileges and the end of Club Iguanas
She once got sued at the bar – a man lost a front tooth in a barroom fistfight
At first taking it personal, she later got him a drink and a T-shirt, just to make it right
One candidate kept hounding for a job; though there was none, Sheila said, “OK, you are hired”
Another down-and-out employee was covered by the family insurance, even after she retired
At Stingers, a sweaty drunk gangster biker ended up urinating on the floor
Though his name was “Tiny,” she threw his obese body into the parking lot, directly out of the door
In full gratitude, she’d yell “I LOVE YOU SAN DIEGO!” when she’d see a view of Mission Bay
The memories of the past keep popping in, so happy they are here to stay
Pot roast with Yorkshire pudding, pork chops, scampi, corned beef and cabbage, sausage and rice
A fisherman friend would trade booze for live lobsters and abalone – he was so nice
Lime House, BBQ Pit, JR’s Restaurant, China Inn, Bully’s West, dinners with Omi and Giggy
Grand Canyon, Jamaica, Barbados, Holy Communion at the Vatican, an art tour in Italy
Pets: Gunner Dobermann dog, Fonzerelli cat, Angel dog – Oh and Oliver a trained duck too
Patches, Gummy, Romeo, Cody and Eddie … and Coco who lived to be 22
Sheila loved training her dogs, skiing and listening to her music, that’s right
Linda Ronstadt’s “When Will I be Loved?” Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May,” “Tonight’s the Night”
“Muskrat Love” by Captain and Tennille, Carol King’s famous album Tapestry
Pretty much all of Hellen Reddy’s catalogue like “Ain’t No Way to Treat a Lady”
And also “You and Me Against the World,” “I am Woman” and “Delta Dawn”
Even when sickness stole her words and speech, she still sang all of her favorite songs
So in closing, I must offer gratitude for all that you taught and brought
Yes, you’ll be happy to know: the Silver Fox … Harun and I have bought
You taught me strength, to not give up, and to follow all of my dreams
And to stand for myself, explore life, to go for it, no matter how crazy it seems
Thank you for putting up with me when I was a brat about the whole college “trauma”
You will forever be in my heart and soul, my one and only Sheila Mama
Through your lessons, your insight, your example – I have grown
Though now like an angel, and a dove, upon wings – you have flown
The strongest, smartest, most beautiful person I have ever known
by jimellis | May 14, 2022 | Uncategorized |
A Birthday Gift from Rick to Kelly
Jersey City, Christ Hospital, May 22 was the day
Her schools included St. Catherine’s and Mater Dei
Growing up, a good student, always doing her best
At work now, she tackles the task and then goes home to rest
In Flemington, a marriage to Jimmy – also known as “Jimmy Jam”
This is our Kell Bell, Mrs. Elenteny – also known as Kellyann
As siblings, we didn’t always get along – that was my bad
Like strangers – different friends, different circles we had
Animosity, chaos and drama – I’d create some in my world
I was a distant brother, and she was daddy’s little girl
We were like ships passing in the night … I will not lie
We did not always see … eye to eye
After speaking with a friend, I knew I needed to reach out
Every week, on one of the nights, I’d simply give her a shout
Awkward at first – I’d hear “What’s wrong? Is everything OK?”
Now, through confiding and trust, what can we talk about today?
Relationships, family, life, the past – everything we hold near
We get on the phone … “What are you doin’ Wicky?” I hear
A big animal lover: Esquire, Chamomile … so much care
Her best friend Marianne … you can call her “Crazy Mare”
Family get-togethers at Revere and Solo Bella – we all talk and dine
Almost Queen, Burlew’s, Drew’s in Key Port, and Justin wine
Saturdays at Costco, Aldi, Lidl, Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s
A love of candy and sweets, the all-time fave Bravos
Like mom, now an amazing cook, Ricky’s favorite mini meatballs
In the world of politics, we see eye to eye about every single cause
Memories of baseball cards, flipping them in our parents’ hallway
She would always throw a leaner, then I’d pull one card away
Any competition, conflict or silent treatment could never truly last
Willy McCoooooooovy – I’d be in her face, and she would laugh
From a 7 Up commercial – “Come on, Jimmy do it” she’d hear
During the holidays, we’d recall the high-pitched Peanuts’ “Christmas time is here…”
Yes, she has a huge heart; she is a loving, caring and conscientious soul
Then suddenly tough, the Irish short temper comes flying out … EXPLODE!
From 0 to blazing in a split-second, it’s like a safety switch unlatched
And then again generous – buying gifts and giving the shirt right off her back
In the end, what do you know, all I had to do was try
Now it is so easy, so wonderful and so natural – we see eye to eye
Eye to eye
by jimellis | Nov 5, 2021 | Uncategorized |
https://zoom.us/j/9602029390
On Internet:
What is Title IX – In 1972 an amendment was devised for the national education system: “No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance.” (CUT AND PASTE)
Questions: Is your college receive Federal FInancial assistance?
If so, what can they not do according to the Title IX amendment?
Men can be offered a specific program from the college that women can not? Y / N N
Women can be offered a special scholarship that is only available to a woman? Y / N N
Why do research on schools violating Title IX? – To practice researching Title IX infractions. On our end, to alert colleges to infractions so they can remedy them.
The Process / Order = Researcher (you) sends to Parth who reviews and then sends to Jim Ellis @ JimEllis1103@Yahoo.com – who may send it forward on depending if you find any indiscretions. If you do, it will move forward in a process that could potentially rectify any violations by the colleges.
What we research – 1. A School’s Basic Information 2. Sex-specific Scholarships 3. Sex-specific Programs
Helpful Research Tips:
- Here is a litmus test for violations. Consider this: Ongoing discriminatory single-sex, female-only or male-only programs with a documented history and a documented future.
- Question – if a program was offered to both males and females equally would it be infraction of Title IX?
- Scholarships or programs use the 180-day rule. No need to identify any program or scholarship if it is no longer available and stopped being offered longer than 6 months ago. No need to note any program or scholarship if it ended over 6 months ago.
- Question – if a women only scholarship was offered in 2012 and stopped being offered in 2015, would it be a violation?
- For events or programs, if both genders are invited to the event, these are not violations of Title IX.
- There are such things as Internal scholarships (sponsored by the college) as well as External scholarships (sponsored by an agency outside of the college). Definitely list the “internal” scholarships in your documentation, but you CAN list “external” scholarships IF THEY ARE PROMOTED as single sex by the University website.
- Question – A men-only scholarship is offered through a Rotary Organization, not affiliated with the school, targets students at that college. Is this a violation?
- No need to list scholarship regarding single-sex sports.
- Question – Women’s Tennis is offered by the school. Is that an infraction?
- No need to list “women’s centers” as a violation of single-sex program.
- Title IX Overview https://www.hhs.gov/civil-rights/for-individuals/sex-discrimination/title-ix-education-amendments/index.html
HELPFUL DOCUMENTS:
- TRAINING Title IX Sex-Specific Search Strategies NOV 2021 (The Search Criteria – How to Do Research)
- TRAINING Title IX Project – Search One Sheet NOV 2021 (One pager made simple)
- TRAINING Example Title IX Research NOV 2021 (Example of Final Deliverable)
- OCR Offices 2021 (For looking up the local Office of Civil Rights)
Documentation to use:
- Fill out the form using the template: Sex specific Scholarships Programs Example 2021. Change the filename after filling out the form, before sending it to Jim Ellis.
- Use the 2 documents as a guide (the One Sheet is a simplified checklist to use)
- To determine which Office of Civil Rights to note on the form, use the Excel spreadsheet OCR offices 2021 by looking up the corresponding state in which the college exists.
________________________________________________________________
ACTUAL TRAINING:
BASIC (for CSUN) NOT NECESSARY? ASK IF IT IS….
i. Is it “Public”
ii. Search for list of Undergraduate students.
iii. Search for % of students of each gender.
2. On school site and Internet:
Scholarship Searches
1. Google search for: university name plus scholarships.
2. Google search for university plus “male”, ”men”, ”father“, “female”, “women”, or “mother.”
For Women’s scholarship
Awesome
FOR MIT
Second one down.
ALICE AND JP WANG AWARD
Desire to participate in the Society of Women Engineers (SWE)
MALE ONLY SCHOLARSHIP – You can give it a try. Same thing.
Program Searches (For MIT)
Go to Google.
Go to School Website – search “women” “men” male-only and “women-only” “female” “girl” “mother”
Type in women
by jimellis | Sep 15, 2018 | Uncategorized |
with elegance and grace
she speaks of the disgrace
the loss of “who I am”
the masks of who we’ve been
with truth and honesty
she plants the seed of purity
the spark that leads to flame
no longer carrying the shame
she cares not how long it took
she is, as always, an open book
since 18, working hard to free
“something devastatingly wrong with me”
nothing Ritalin, coke or drugs could cure
to carry on – wanting something sure
needing others to say she’s OK, a church without a steeple
finding out … hurt people hurt people
a missing father figure in a physical form
untreated narcissism, substance abuse – a perfect storm
they were mad at her for telling what he did
protecting the perpetrator, keeping it all hid
a victim silenced, don’t say anything
high on arrival … becomes hopeful healing
the realization she is her mother’s daughter, no less
she need not identify with the ugly and the darkness
she could choose who she is to be
finding the identity of the one … “it’s me”
no longer desperate to be believed
not needing someone to be furious at … now relieved
forgiveness isn’t about cosigning, nor about not being pissed
it’s reclaiming the you that you’ve dearly missed
with joy, light, elegance and grace
she speaks of a past disgrace
the retrieval of “who I really am”
the release of what has never been
the spark that ignites the highest flame
no one will ever be the same
it matters not how long it takes
the book and the door is open, for all our sake
since a child, she has worked hard to set free
the one heart, the one soul … sweet Mackenzie
by jimellis | Apr 29, 2018 | Uncategorized |
[Support this campaign HERE.]
To help ease the post-traumatic stress that may haunt local police officers’ dreams and waking life, Lemon Grove resident and filmmaker James Anthony Ellis has taken on a project to document some of those traumatic triggers as well offer pathways of support.
A 30-minute educational film – titled “Keeping the Peace” – will be gifted to police agencies across San Diego and then the nation for in-house training of officers. The purpose? To bring awareness to the stresses and traumas experienced by officers and law enforcement personnel while on duty in order to empower them to normalize their emotional and mental responses to on-the-job experiences and to take action in alleviating, diffusing and treating the symptoms of trauma (PTSD), so that they can retain wellness in all areas of their lives.
Today’s stats can be grim:
- According to Officer.com, there are an estimated 150,000 officers who have symptoms of Post Traumatice Stress Injuries (PTSI). Recent research indicates that 1/3 of active-duty and retired officers suffer from post-traumatic stress, with some unaware of this condition.
- Badge of Life Organization states law enforcement officers are 1.5 times more likely to commit suicide than the general population. With over 100 suicides per year – the #1 one killer of police officers is … law enforcement suicide.
- According to researcher and therapist Beverly J. Anderson: “More than any other occupation, law enforcement is an emotionally and physically dangerous job. Police officers continuously face the effects of murder, violence, rape, child abuse, accidents and disasters. Long hours, rotating shifts and constant exposure to tragedy exacts a heavy toll on police officers and their families.”
Says Ellis, who is presently fundraising to complete the film, “Police protect us from the dark side of life and must cope with the unimaginable. This film guides them to address emotional trauma they face. The police are there for us. Let’s be there for them.”
Donations can be made though the Chuffed crowd-funding platform from May 1 through May 31.
Ellis took on this project after the success of his previous documentary “Indoctrinated; The Grooming of our Children into Prostitution” garnered so much attention and created large-scale positive impact. After viewing “Indoctrinated” at a 2017 screening, Sergeant Matthew Blumenthal of the San Diego County Sheriff’s Department told Ellis he wanted to show that film to everyone in his human trafficking department. This inspired Ellis to consider other types of documentaries that could serve in a like manner.
Said Ellis, “No matter your impression of officers, these are human beings who need to be in sound mind, steady emotion and physical balance. We need them to be at their best.”
Ellis says he understands there exists a conflict for police officers who may fear appearing weak and unsuitable for a job if they ask for help in dealing with emotionally wounding experiences. But he believes the time is right for caring for the plights of these officers.
A steady supporter of the film, Sergeant Katherine Lynch of the La Mesa Police Department Training Unit, said, “For too long, officers have suffered in silence. We can no longer afford to ignore the effects of critical incidents on the men and women who wear the badge. Until the day comes when we no longer lose a single officer to suicide, we have a tremendous amount of work to do and any tool in our toolbox can help us save a life.”
If Ellis has his way, the officers will know the responses to trauma are normal, and realize reaching out for support is completely understandable. His list of purposes for the film include:
- For officers to receive the clear message that they do have options in dealing with the stresses, and they can retain wellness in all areas of their lives.
- To ensure retiring officers are given back to their families as healthy citizens: emotionally, mentally, spiritually.
- To see a cultural shift, as officers are seen as humans needing the same sort of support we all need.
- To see an industry shift, where officers know it’s safe to receive the support they desperately need but may not feel free to ask for.
- To support a vision of peace officers who truly keep the peace, for themselves, our neighborhoods, and our society.
Ellis has already gathered a list of 40 potential interviews, along with the verbal support of the San Diego District Attorney Summer Stephan.
Funds that are raised will go towards three months of production costs, to include: equipment rental, pre-production research, the production of outlining the film and filming the footage, and the post-production of editing, adding music, titles, and disseminating the film where it can be of best use.
Said Maxine Lynch, Past President of the California Peer Support Association, “Having a training film such as ‘Keeping the Peace’ available will absolutely help us educate the people in the departments who will need to know about and need to utilize peer support systems.”
Those wishing to support this campaign can click HERE.
Being in a relationship with you Lenie has taught me something new
