Chapter 22 – Consequence vs Punishment – Apology vs Accountability

CHAPTER 22 CONSEQUENCE VS. PUNISHMENT – APOLOGY VS. ACCOUNTABILITY This chapter explores those moments after your word is broken or you’ve had a break with some form of integrity. So… what follows? You can hide in the bushes or under a freeway. You can come clean, and admit the truth to someone and then walk away. You can apologize. You can be punished. You can give back to those you impacted in some form that is natural, acceptable and admirable, revealing the awareness that there is a “consequence” to every action. You can wait for the Lords of Karma to deal out your karmic retribution later on, perhaps in the next lifetime. Although we will cover much of these territories, I think it’s vital that we get something straight right away: the act of punishment is complete bullshit. Not that much of our society would agree. Parents, plaintiffs, judges, lawyers and other court jesters, as well as those betrayed in the realm of relationships would not take kindly to a world without punishment. “Hang `em, lock `em up, give me their money. They don’t deserve anything else.” Such a punishing mentality does much to serve the side of the “plaintiff” or those who feel they have been wronged. But what about serving the defendants or those out of honor? How would one in our society take care of these folks, who – last we checked – most likely are still human beings with the same needs, desires and foibles as any of us? With punishment, we can close the books, label the criminal, burglar, murderer, asshole as we wish,...

Chapter 23 – “What Can I Do To Make It Up To You?”

CHAPTER23 BALANCING GIVE AND TAKE “WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU?” As we discovered in a previous chapter, coming into honor is coming back into balance – with others, with black and white standards of conduct. It can be a natural and effortless endeavor filled with grace, respect and care for others in our lives. As we also discovered, it can also be a bitch. Literally. Many a man can make the process quite the ordeal if they: Take a stance of irresponsibility Forgo humility for ego and arrogance Need to be right rather than righteous Hide or avoid situations in which they played a major part Redirect attention away from themselves and their own actions Basically act like a little bitch. Literally. You set something in motion with your commitment or your word, and it must resolve somehow; there must be a completion. You shook hands. You wrote something in the e-mail. You said it out loud to another, whether you were listening to yourself or not. The questions are: Did you follow through on your word, agreement, handshake? If not, what are you going to do about it? In the old days – way, way back in the ancient times like the mid-1950s – there was this saying: “What can I do to make it up to you?” That phrase – rarely heard in today’s “no responsibility” generation – holds a lot of power in it. It includes responsibility, ownership and the desire to “give back” to a situation that may have been impacted by one’s misguided action or unconscious lack of action....